Leaving the Ego in the Bag

Pickleball has a quiet way of revealing what we carry inside us.

When I first picked up a paddle, I told myself I was playing just for fun. And in many ways, I truly was. I loved the simplicity of the game—the laughter between points, the easy conversations, the way strangers quickly became familiar faces. I loved how it moved my body without feeling like another obligation on my calendar.

It felt light. It felt joyful.

Then tournaments entered the picture.

Suddenly, fun wasn’t the only thing on the line. Medals mattered. DUPR scores mattered. Who I beat—and who beat me—started to take up more space in my thoughts than I expected. And somewhere along the way, a quiet question surfaced:

What happened to playing purely for the joy of it?

When “Just for Fun” Meets a Competitive Heart

I’ve played competitive sports my entire life, so the desire to win isn’t new—it’s part of me. Competition taught me discipline. It taught me how to train, how to focus, how to push past comfort. It even paid for my college education.

Those lessons mattered. And I am incredibly thankful for them.

But I wanted pickleball to be different—especially at this stage of my life (The forties are fun, but I definitely have to play with a little more wisdom… and a lot more stretching).

Needless to say, I didn’t come to this sport chasing podiums or to prove anything. I came for the community, the health benefits, the shared joy of the game. I came to show up, connect, and play.

So when that familiar drive to win resurfaced, it surprised me.

Not because winning is wrong—but because I no longer wanted my identity wrapped up in outcomes. I didn’t want my mood to rise and fall with a scoreline. I wanted to leave the court smiling, regardless of how the match ended.

Redefining What “Winning” Means

I’m learning that winning doesn’t have to look the way it used to.

Winning can look like:

• Leaving the court having had fun—win or loss
• Building real friendships that deepen over time
• Focusing on staying healthy so I can play for years to come
• Growing my skills while keeping my heart humble

That kind of winning is what I truly want to embrace in my pickleball era.

The Ongoing Practice

I don’t have this mastered. Ego still shows up—especially in competitive settings or against cocky players. But now, I notice it. I pause. I choose.

I decide whether I’m going to let ego drive my play… or quietly place it back in my bag.

Pickleball is teaching me that it’s possible to love competition without being consumed by it.

That improvement doesn’t require comparison.

And that sometimes, the greatest thing you can walk off the court with… isn’t a medal at all—but a lighter heart.